The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Mentalizing Tales of Dating and Marriage

The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Mentalizing Tales of Dating and Marriage is about the dynamics of intimate interpersonal relationships (dating and marriage) - how and why human pairings occur, what helps them function optimally and how therapists can intervene when they don't. J. Mark Thompson and Richard Tuch employ a multidimensional perspective that provides a variety of "lenses" through which intimate relationships can be viewed. The authors also offer a new model of couples therapy based on the mentalization model of treatment developed by Peter Fonagy and his colleagues.

This book is aimed at those interested in the nature of intimate relationships as well as those wishing to expand their clinical skills, whether they are conducting one-on-one therapy with individuals struggling to establish and maintain intimate relations or are conducting conjoint treatment with troubled couples who have sought the therapist's assistance. Thompson and Tuch view relationships from a wide array of different perspectives: mentalization, attachment theory, evolutionary psychology, psychoanalysis, pattern recognition (neuroscience), and role theory. A mentalization based approach to couples therapy is clearly explained in a "how to" fashion, with concrete suggestions about how the therapist goes about clinically intervening given their expanded understanding of the dynamics of intimate relations outlined in the book.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Mentalizing Tales of Dating and Marriage will appeal to psychoanalysts, psychotherapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, clinical social workers, marriage therapists, and all those interested in both learning more about the dynamics of one-on-one intimate relationships (dating and marriage) from a truly multidimensional perspective and in learning how to conduct mentalization-based couples therapy.

Section I: Basic Science: Mentalization, Theory of Mind, Theories of Love, Attachment.Prologue. Storytelling: You can keep your damn jack! Lost in Narration. A Few Things Worth Knowing About Marriage. Attachment Theory. What Evolution Teaches About Dating and Mating. Section II: Practical approaches: Mentalization-Based Couple's Therapy. Introductiono to Mental.-Based Model to Couple's Therapy. The Workbook: Section 1. The Basics.The Workbook: Section 2- Advanced Concepts. Section III: Elaborations. Pattern Recognition. Complementarity. The Challenge of Mentalizing Sexual Betrayal. The ways in which we differ, The ways love makes us same.

J. Mark Thompson is Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry and Training and Supervising Analyst at The New Center for Psychoanalysis. He teaches at the Department of Psychiatry, UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He also teaches at the Department of Psychiatry at USC and the Department of Psychiatry at UC Irvine.

Richard Tuch is Dean of The New Center for Psychoanalysis and Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He is a Training and Supervising Analyst at The New Center for Psychoanalysis and at The Psychoanalytic Center of California.