Willpower For Dummies

Willpower For Dummies shows you how to train, strengthen, and improve your willpower in seven easy steps! Written by a clinical psychologist and cognitive therapist, the book proves that willpower can be learned like any other skill, and provides tons of practical exercises and strategies you can start using today. You'll learn how willpower works inside the brain, and how choosing goals and identifying challenges can affect your success. The book stresses the importance of patience, rewards and being kind to yourself, and walks you through the techniques that will keep you on the right track, even on your worst days.

The mind works in two different ways: the long view and the short view. Controlling which aspect wins out is the key to willpower. Willpower For Dummies breaks this complex science down into easily digestible bits, written in plain English with a dash of humour. You'll find scientifically robust guidance toward strengthening your willpower just like a muscle, and expert advice on training your brain to work with you instead of against you.

• Discover the most important factors in building self-discipline
• Learn how to set goals and how to train your willpower
• Practice simple willpower-strengthening exercises
• Employ coping strategies for when you're about to break

Whether you're trying to lose weight, quit smoking or just work harder, rest assured that you can do it?regardless of past failures and false starts. Willpower is not a trait, but a skill. Everyone can learn it, and everyone can make it stronger. Willpower For Dummies walks you through the process, teaching you the skills you need for lasting success.

Introduction 1

About This Book 2

Foolish Assumptions 3

Icons Used in This Book 3

Beyond the Book 4

Where to Go from Here 4

Part I: Getting Started with Willpower 5

Chapter 1: All About Willpower 7

Equating Willpower and Success 7

Recognising that You Do Have Willpower 8

Understanding How Willpower Works 10

Considering the origins and workings of willpower 10

Realising that willpower is a shared resource 14

Realising that willpower is a limited resource 16

Being Aware of Addiction Issues 17

Increasing Your Willpower 18

Chapter 2: Willpower and You 21

Linking Personality and Willpower 22

Exploring the Big Five Facets of Personality 22

Reading Your Feelings 26

Emotion is in the eye of the beholder 27

Negative emotions are more compelling 29

Connecting Your Emotions and Willpower 29

Appreciating the Role of Positive Emotions 30

Considering Your Beliefs about Willpower 31

Part II: Taking Seven Steps to Improved Willpower 35

Chapter 3: Training Your Willpower: The Willpower Workshop 37

Developing Problem-Solving Skills 38

Distinguishing between worrying and problem solving 38

Using the 5W1H approach 40

Feeding Your Brain: The Willpower Diet 43

Preventing your brain from getting rusty! 43

Avoiding a diet that reduces your willpower 44

Realising that the quick fix is not the best fix 46

Matching food to willpower challenges 47

Taking Physical Exercise 48

Exercising Your Brain 50

Developing Your Willpower Muscle 51

Chapter 4: Zeroing in on a Single Goal 53

Working Memory: Your Brain’s Desktop 54

Contrasting working memory and long-term memory 54

Being single-minded 55

Looking at Motivation: The Essence of Willpower 57

Choosing the right goal at the right time 57

Identifying priorities: Your personal balance sheet 58

Identifying Your Values 59

Setting SMART Goals 60

Prioritising, Preparing and Performing 62

Ways to Nudge Yourself 63

Chapter 5: Recognising that Change is a Journey that Takes Time 67

Seeing the Cycle of Change 67

Precontemplation 69

Contemplation 70

Preparation 70

Action 70

Maintenance 71

Relapse 73

Realising when it’s Okay to Quit (or Quit Quitting!) 73

Review and reflect 74

Know that old habits die hard 75

Chapter 6: Know Your Triggers! Forewarned is Forearmed 79

Identifying Your Triggers 79

Recognising your internal and external triggers 80

Being prepared 82

Planning to Cope 84

Putting the ‘if, then’ strategy to use 86

Acting on the ‘now versus later’ strategy 87

Forming and Changing Habits 88

Chapter 7: Be Kind to Yourself When You Fail 93

Taking Responsibility While Avoiding Self-blame 93

Accepting the responsibility to do better 94

Seeing failure as an opportunity for change 95

Forgoing self-blame 95

Losing hurts 96

Recovering from a Setback 98

Switching your perspective 98

Managing negative thoughts 99

Restoring your confidence 102

Re-evaluating and re-setting your goal 103

Chapter 8: Rewarding Yourself along the Way 105

Being Your Own Willpower Coach 106

Making use of the science of rewards 106

Climbing the goal ladder 108

Identifying Your Talents 112

Expanding your talents 112

Reinforcing your effort 113

Using Rewarding Activities to Boost Willpower 114

Pinpointing preferential activities 115

Identifying flow experiences 116

Celebrating Success 117

Giving yourself a medal! 117

Savouring success 118

Chapter 9: Maintaining Your Progress 119

Meeting Your Brain’s CEO 120

Running hot and cold 120

Putting your willpower CEO to work 122

Using Your Memory to Boost Your Willpower 124

Exploring memory 125

Burying your old memories with new ones 125

Using Motivation to Boost Willpower 129

Expecting Your Willpower to Work 130

Part III: Following Up for Success 133

Chapter 10: Developing and Maintaining Realistic Optimism 135

Aiming for Realistic Optimism 136

Determining what makes an optimist or a pessimist 137

Appreciating the good with the not so good 138

Perfectionism and Procrastination: The Twin Enemies of Willpower! 138

Recognising procrastination 139

Engaging in perfectionism 139

Overcoming unhelpful tendencies 140

Thinking Styles and Predicting Positive or Negative Outcomes 143

Predicting the future 143

Exploring thinking styles with the 3Ps 144

Linking Self-confidence and Willpower 147

Disempowering pessimism 148

Boosting your self-confidence 149

Chapter 11: Creating a Lifestyle That Promotes Willpower 151

Looking on the Bright Side 151

Managing Stress 152

Perceiving and coping with stress 153

Depleting your willpower 155

Connecting stress to performance 155

Reacting to chronic stress 157

Managing Your Mood with Food 157

The right food, the right mood 157

Sugar high, sugar low 158

Sleeping Your Way to Willpower 159

Making Physical and Mental Exercise Routine 161

Getting sufficient physical exercise 161

Exercising your brain 162

Part IV: The Part of Tens 163

Chapter 12: (More Than) Ten Things to Know about Willpower 165

Brain Fitness is Essential for Willpower 166

The importance of being match fit 166

The art of perseverance 167

You Can’t Have a Willpower Bypass 167

Willpower Varies between People 168

Looking at the three reasons why willpower varies 168

Focus is Your Friend 171

Find something that grabs your attention 171

Practise mindfulness 171

Willpower Works on One Goal at a Time 172

Tiredness Triggers Temptation 173

Hunger Zaps Your Willpower 174

Keep Calm, or Get Calm, and Carry On 174

Cut Yourself Some Slack and Reward Yourself for Trying! 175

Just Do Nothing: Give Your Brain a Rest 176

Plan for Failure, Find Success 176

Chapter 13: Ten Ways to Support Your Willpower 179

Eating a Breakfast of Willpower Champions 179

Training Your Brain 180

De-cluttering Your Personal Space 180

Knowing what You’re Drinking 181

Managing Your Anger 181

Planning Your Shopping 182

Prioritising Your Resolutions 182

Being Assertive Rather Than Submissive or Confrontational 183

Tackling Your Problems Stepwise 183

Being Optimistic but Realistic 184

Chapter 14: Ten (Plus) Willpower-related Websites and Apps 185

Using Smartphone Apps 185

Keeping Your Brain Fit with SharpBrains 186

Recording Your Goals with GoalWriter 187

Dieting with the Beck Diet Solution 187

Monitoring Your Physical Exercise 188

Training Your Brain 188

Generic brain training 189

Specific brain training 189

Managing Your Mood 190

Finding Mindfulness and Meditation 191

Overcoming Harmful Habits 192

Improving Your Well-being with Authentic Happiness 192

Having a Laugh 193

Index 195

Frank Ryan is a clinical psychologist and cognitive therapist, specialising in cognition and impulse control. He is also the author of Cognitive Therapy For Addiction, published by Wiley.